Hope, Eliza! Play on.
And all of a sudden, it’s time. The house is HUUUGE!!!! I have my own dressing room!!!! We met the maestro - Conner Covington - he’s a lovely guy who put us at our ease. He’s also meticulous, making sure I line up eighth note runs properly in “Show Me” and that the orchestra holds for the funny bits. And speaking of the orchestra... One of the most rewarding moments of this kind of work is the day, the moment, you hear the orchestra, and it was no different here in Salt Lake. They’re stunning. More then a few tears of joy were shed.
There are, of course, a few nerve-wracking moments along the way. I have two outrageously fast quick changes, the first into the Ascot Gavotte scene and the second into the aforementioned ball gown. As you will see below, the bodices on these lovely dresses are, um, snug. :) I met the women who’d be helping me on the day of, not before; they were kind and calm and brilliant, and we made it every time but oh those zippers made us all want to barf. And the hat!! Oh my god the f-ing hat. I doubt there has ever been an Eliza since George Bernard Shaw wrote the damn play that hasn’t lost sleep over the Ascot hat. Having the hat was not a foregone conclusion since ours was a concert, not a full production, but the hat is half the comedy of the Ascot scene. I lobbied for the hat! The hat should get a bio in the program. Just the thought that it might slip and ruin the funniest moment in the show kept me up at night. And I already sleep very little; curse you, anxiety!
Oh but the cast is so marvelous!! Everyone sings and dances their rears off; Cree and Michelle are at the ready to save me from my hat folly; Charlie reminds me which direction to stomp in "Show Me" (that number!!) and Jeff keeps waiting with aplomb for me to flip the coin to him in the first scene even though he knows I will NEVER get it right. But so much more importantly, everyone is supportive and kind, and, well, really fun. We giggle tons backstage.
Doubt in Real Time
And then there's Peter. There are two moments that I always find to be almost unbearably moving in My Fair Lady, whether I'm in the show or watching from the house. The first is when Eliza enters in her fancy gown and jewels before she and Higgins leave for the ball; the second is in Act 2 when the first violin (played by Concertmaster Kathryn Eberle) plays that rising hopeful theme of "I Could Have Danced," much more slowly, right before Eliza returns. (In fact the concertmaster plays Eliza's thoughts out loud a few times in the show, and I loved connecting with her in our version.) Both of these moments are so exposed, and requires both actress and orchestra to tell complete stories - her nerves, his sadness, her strength, and of course hope, in a few bars, with no lines. The stunning music does its part, but could I be as truthful and intentioned? I was unnerved at the final dress.
During a break in the proceedings Peter came to keep me company. This gentle man, as gifted and funny as he is humble, had been my anchor, although he couldn't know that. He'd told me on a few occasions how important it was to him to get GBS' work right but also to give Higgins a humanity and reality that today requires. After chatting about this and that, I told him, quite honestly, how moving his performance was for me, how he seemed to tackle the devilishly difficult Higgins with ease. I also admitted I was scared, just flat scared of what the next hours would bring. Could I measure up - to him, to the orchestra, to Lerner and Loewe's beautiful show. And he said "what we want is on the other side of our fear." Now I'd heard it before, but never so earnestly, from someone I admired as much. Rehearsal resumed.
A Change in Perspective
Abbey Hunt, our ever-cheerful and efficient choreographer, knew my nerves were running high, and she sent me a fun photo she took from the first orchestra run earlier in the day. It was the right reminder that sometimes you just have to change your perspective.
Levi Steals The Show, Y'All
Right before we stepped out on stage, I peeked through the black curtain the crew had added for our entrances (concert halls have heavy doors to help with sound and other important things, folks aren't usually dashing into and out of the wings during concerts) and sitting in the house right box, first one up, were Levi and the Silver Fox. How did they get there? How would I concentrate ? And why was Levi wearing a large red and white baseball hat in a concert hall? Well I must have peeked a bit too obviously because OF COURSE Levi spotted me and he WAVED. I wanted to laugh out loud and also signal ferociously to him to cut it out but there was time for neither; the first scene was upon us. And it was actually (eventually) comforting and super-fun to have them so close. That hat, though...
The coin flip came and (predictably) went, Cree and Michelle mined every laugh, Charlie sang his face off and Jeff walked away with his numbers. But I will never forget the look on Peter's face when I got "the rain in Spain" right - we'd done it a million times and yet his total joy and astonishment in the moment truly made me want to dance all night; when it came time to walk down the center aisle of the orchestra to leave for the ball, I walked right through my fear without a thought for any other option. And every performance after was as magical.
At the post-run party, Kate and Levi and my Silver Fox presented me with my favorite closing night gift ever - a signed red and white baseball cap from The Red Iguana - and no, Levi didn't take it off once during the ENTIRE show.
George Bernard Shaw (also) said:
Imagination is the beginning of creation.
You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine
and at last you create what you will.
I’ve decided I'm not done yet. Eliza is a marvel; I mean, here’s this girl with no money, no position, nothing but her savvy and her gumption and she completely transforms herself. She has resilience. And if she can do it, I, with my advantages and support system and years of experience, can do it too.
So dear reader, I hoped, and a good was revealed. I wish the same for you.
